our meadow

Lately, I’ve been asking the Lord to make me who He wants me to be. Every time I ask Him this, I forget that it usually comes at a cost, and right now, it’s a toughy. He is showing me how easily offendable/angered I am. Especially when it comes to the two little boys that I adore so much. I never knew I was capable of such anger until my kid doesn’t do what I want him to at the exact time I want him to! Listen people, I learned that I was very selfish when I got married and began to learn how to serve. Then, when I had Rowan, I realized that I really had no grid for selfLESSness. And finally, with Asher, I pretty much feel like I only care about myself! Having children is so ‘inconvenient’ for my flesh, and I’m realizing more every day that I care most about myself and not nearly enough about the people around me, particularly when it comes to doing things that aren’t exactly what i want to do. So I’m asking the Lord that His love would abound more and more in my heart, and that He’d reach down and put grace on me in this season. I love my children, and I know parents say this all the time, but it’s clear that they mean it: I wouldn’t trade this time in my life for anything. (I’d just rather it’d be easier, but isn’t that just like humans?)

My beautiful and wonderful friend Susanna was reflecting this morning about the community of friends that we live in.  She got me thinking again about how much I appreciate all of you! I’ve especially been touched by the people from ZHOP lately, because you have shown me such kindness when Asher was born.  I can’t thank you all enough for being who you are.  I try to describe my friends to people back home, but it’s impossible to explain the kind of comradery (?) we have here.  Joel and I are really looking forward to being here with you for a long, long time.  I love you guys.